Studies show:
Intelligent girls are more depressed
Because they know
What the world is really like
Don’t think for a beat it makes it better
When you sit her down and tell her
Everything gonna be all right
She knows in society she either is
A devil or an angel with no in between
She speaks in the third person
So she can forget that she’s me
I am sick, ill, noxious, tired.
I can barely stand on my feet and I am so hungry but I have no appetite and whatever goes through my mouth I puke right out.
I even had to go off the tram twice to get home. Those two stops were for puking. And the bus to Gothenburg I had to stop one stop before the central station. I couldn’t bare another second in there.
And the dogs need to go out and do their things though I am in no condition to go anywhere. I even have one last homework to do and it is due tomorrow at three in the afternoon.
To conclude, I have to relax and eat but I can’t.
Help?
I am ill and sick. Just want to lie down, but I can’t. I have to go to school. Ugh…
-edit-
I feel like fainting. I can’t open my eyes clearly, I have no appetite I feel like throwing up..mmggmgmmm -__-
So I have a “problem”…
Firstly, I have a tickets to West Coast Riot which is on June 16th but I don’t want to go there, I would if somebody would want to join me. However, I know nobody who would care to go there.
Secondly, I want to go to Metaltown which is the day after WCR (17th-18th of June) though I have no tickets and the only ones I am aware of who would appreciate being there, aren’t attending. I wish to see System Of A Down, just once and it’s on the first day of the festival. Though the ticket costs 900 SEK for a day and going solo is not what I want. Choices…
(About to bury two people)
Pugsley: Are they dead?
Wednesday: Does it matter?
I was out partying last night, banged one or two, and I can’t remember anything else, I don’t even know how I ended up in prison for a night.
Omfg! Totally awesome! Yeaaaahh!
Why do people cheer for idiotic behaviours? Fine, do whatever you want. I just don’t understand why people act as if they accomplished something great by acting hilariously subconsciously foolish.
And for the beginners…jeez. They feel like they’ve been reborn after experiencing their first intoxicated night. Wow.
I won’t judge you, honestly, I have friends who can’t spend a weekend without partying. I’m only having trouble understanding the cheerful annotations for daft actions.
I’ve always been fascinated by the game. Though I should begin from the first one if I will start playing it.
Last weekend of the month means scone-baking. Therefore I will spend this grey and gruesome (which is positive) night with my partner, a cup of tea, scones and something amusing to watch.
The rain is pouring heavily.
My sister, Sima, visited me today. She wanted help with the laundry, told me to guide me via telephone. Though her mind instantly changed and decided to stop by and let me teach her. There wasn’t much for teaching, she only said “mhm” to everything I said and was pleased by the fact that I was cleaning her clothes.
Oh well, it was nice having her here. I am sitting here naked about to give the shower a visit.
Ta
Since the Gamecube console hasn’t developed, neither has their games. One of the most popular games for Gamecube is Super Smash Bros. Melee. It’s an amazing game loved by everyone. I have it and it costs more than $100 today, unless you buy it on ebay.
So, a couple of years ago a friend borrowed it from me and when he returned the game, it had scratches on it and it refused to cope when I started playing it. It shut down by itself and was broken.
Not until today I realized you can fix games by cleaning them in a special machine with a special liquid. Therefore I decided to bring Super Smash with me to TV-Spel’s Kompaniet (why the apostrophe when it’s written in Swedish?) (in Gothenburg) for a cleansing polish. Apparently they were the only ones being able to do this, all other stores were unable to accept those small Gamecube games.
In a way it feels great being the owner of such rare items.
Yeah…
It’s my life…
My own words I guess…
Have you ever loved someone so much, you’d give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they’re your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm ‘her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
Eek! I was there, bought so many clothes.
A bolero, a shirt, a top, a pair of shoes (finally, I’ve wanted them for four years!), a skirt a bracelet with pearls with a white rose on it, I also bought really hot shorts that go above your waste. Unfortunately, I was unable to find them on the website. Actually it summed up to 2700~ though I gained a bonus since I had a student-card. In addition to that, I acquired a free ticket to West Coast Riot. Not my particular taste, though I might attend just for the sake of grace.
I will do it!
I am totally doing it. At a quarter to two I will be there, at Shock, 13:45, live.
Tihihihih
So…I was going to write about something and now I completely lost it…
*thinking*
…
…
…
Got it!
Yesterday I was at Järntorget (Iron Market or Iron Square if you translate it verbally from Swedish) and I went to Myrorna. I love that place not because it is cheap but because they have everything that all the other stores don’t: DIFFERENT CLOTHING (except Shock). All the other shops have exactly the same offers or there are some boutiques with quite unique clothing but then they usually aren’t affordable, in my case.
Moreover, in Myrorna they had behind a window a gorgeous circular, black purse/bag with the diameter of approximately 25 cm? (~ 10 inches) It was elegant and I fell for it immediately. On a board next to it said that the items behind the window will be set up for sale on the 1st of June at 10 am.
I want it badly, though it feels inappropriate to go there just in time to purchase that bag.
I also went to Shock in Brunnsparken. I love it there. Too bad the music they play is always American, noisy Rock where they always scream. Not a feeling in the music whatsoever and oh the prices are skyhigh. a dress for approximately $100, as for the shoes. Yesterday when I was there they had renewed their clothes and there were plenty adorable and beautiful dresses. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I was stunned. I just want to take some of my savings and buy clothes there which I truly want instead of clothes looking fairly okay with a fairly okay price.
The reason why I want to go there as soon as possible is that the amount of the same clothing are very few, so if the XS is taken, then there are only the other ones left. M I can work with, S is good. XXS is too small. Additionally, there are items there I have desired for years. I do have the money I am just afraid I will regret it, but then again, I’ve regret not buying those things there for forever.
I am eating everything I shouldn’t eat. A sandwich with butter and cheese for I
am lactose intolerant.
I am drinking tea, though my skin becomes pinkish as if I am blushing and I get spots if I do. The effect is stronger with coffee. Utterly unfair. I love tea and I love cheese.
900 SEK (~ $140) to attend to the festival in Gothenburg: Metaltown for one day. I just want to see System Of A Down and they will probably stay for two hours at the most. Cruel world we live in…
For two months me and my classmates in the Italian course have been without a teacher due to her (Katharina, my teacher) mental breakdown.
We’ve had a total of one writing test and the rest have been oral. Therefore none can hand us our grades by looking at one single test when this course has lasted for a year. Everything else is inside the mind of Katharina for she has written nothing down about how we speak.
So, today we were suppose to have oral presentations. We were all excited about it and hoped nothing would go wrong. What could go wrong when everything else has? But we were wrong. At four past eight in the morning the desk clerk handed us a letter where it said our supply teacher is ill.
There were no words for our anger, sadness and disappointment. As if we’ve been betrayed and no one can do anything about it. There are no teachers who can teach Italian therefore we’re in a middle of a twisted dilemma. What is there to do in order to achieve the grades we deserve?
It was my first time when I genuinely felt disappointed to have a cancelled lesson.
I met with Erik today. I was waiting for the bus at the terminal as a car stopped and a man approached me. I was terrified and he said in Swedish: “Don’t you remember me!?” with a huge smile on his face. I immediately knew it was him. Apparently he was visiting from Germany and his father still lives here.
Erik is the brother of a friend of mine, Felix. I haven’t seen Erik for…four years? I believe I was fourteen since our last meeting. Wow, by then he was 19 and engaged with Amanda, they currently have a child.
I was completely surprised by the fact that he recognised me. You should have seen me by then, when I was 14. Not nearly as I look today. I was chubby, never wore make-up, boring hair, boring clothing, thick eyebrows. Definitely not an eye candy, I must say.
Åh herregud det värsta kunde hända inträffade när jag tog båda hundarna ut samtidigt.
Vi stötte på en annan hund och dess ägare såg ut som någon alkis, höll inte ens i kopplet och bara skrek något. Det enda av det jag hörde var: blabablabla hundar blablabla!
Argos kräver lika mycket uppmärksamhet som fem småungar tillsammans. Och han väger säkerligen mer än mig därför är det så svårt att dra i honom. Jag kommer få större muskler i armarna och en massa sår på händerna av att dra i honom. Blä. Kingston, den andra lilla hunden får knappt någon uppmärksamhet bara för att han sköter sig så bra. Det är typ som jag och min lillasyster när vi var små. Jag satt alltid tyst och var överduktig medan Sima sprang runt och betedde sig allmänt galet.
Hursomhelst höll jag så hårt jag kunde och det gick bra. Jävligt jobbigt att hålla båda koppel bara.
Tänk att jag var hundrädd för 2 år sedan.
Funderar ofta, väldigt ofta, på att ta bort i princip alla på min facebook som jag knappt säger hej till längre. Visst, vissa är man fortfarande bra vän med och vill se vad som pågår i deras liv men vissa andra…bara är där för att fylla upp min vägg. Men jag gillar inte att min vägg fylls av dessa jävla frågor (den nya funktionen) och dumma länkar och statusinlägg när folk inte kan skilja på versaler och gemener eller har någonsin hört talats om kommatecken och punkt.
…eller så döljer man bara dem “hide”. Men då finns de där ändå och jag skiter fullständigt i om jag har fem eller femhundra vänner. Jag har hellre fem som skriver vettigt än 500. Det blir ju som ett jävla klotterplank bara :s
…men då kanske de blir sura för att jag tagit bort dem. Folk tar ju för fan fb på dödligt allvar.
-Allt som skrivs på facebook är sant.
-Så om jag skriver att jag är gud…
-Susann, nu går vi inte så långt! (Jag och Louis)
Visst, allting är inte ett skämt, men allting är inte på liv och död där heller.
Jag fryser. Vill bara lägga mig ner under täcket men jag måste göra min sista uppgift i Fotografisk Bild. Allra sista. Man fick välja ett tema och redovisa mellan 4-6 bilder för hela skolan. Jag valde temat: “saga” med sex stycken bilder av nio som jag tog. Min lärare vill ha allihop redovisade, jag antar att det är ett gott tecken.
Kommer inte sakna kursen, men jag kommer sakna kameran. Tur att jag inte använder den så ofta i alla fall.
Jag ska åka om ungefär 3 timmar. Vad gör man tills dess? Jag är inte hungrig i alla fall. Sova? Nej, jag vill sova tidigt ikväll för jag måste vara i skolan klockan 8.
Vet inte riktigt vad jag ska skriva eller varför jag ens skriver. Äh jag går och sminkar mig.
En sak till jag måste få ut ur mig: min klass är så jävla blond. Kanske 5 av 25 är inte det men resten… Det är sådana människor (totalt 3 killar i klassen) som gör att man vill bara kapa av sina öron så fort de öppnar sina munnar. Sluta sprid din idioti! Sen tänker jag på Professor Layton (seriöst, han är det enda hoppet till att jag kan bli en snäll människa) och säger till mig själv, “nej, sluta döm, du är inte bättre”.
En sak som gjorde mig rätt besviken på dem var att nu när vi ska åka lastbil (jag tänker inte åka med) på studenten ska vi välja musik till. Och alla får välja varsin låt. Nästan alla har valt en sån där låt som har precis släppts som går på radio av någon B-kändis (typ September). Ingen nostalgi, ingen känsla, utan bara skitäcklig pop som man kan hoppa och “dansa” till. Herrejävlagud. Inte ens en favoritlåt! Fan är grejen egentligen? 12 år i skolan och det är så de ska komma ihåg den sista dagen.
-Ja, du, mitt barnbarn, vi hade låtar som vi tyckte lät bra för stunden sedan glömde vi av allt nästa dag.
Alltså…jag är otroligt glad över att jag inte ska med nu när de valde sådan musik. Jag tror dock att två killar kommer välja musik från System of A Down. Yes. Sedan planerar klassen på att supa ihjäl sig sista veckan så att de blir “vana” på studentdagen.
-Du måste vara dum i huvudet om du inte super i vår ålder.
Sade en kille i min klass till sin bästa vän, också i min klass.
Hur kan man inte döma dem då? Samtidigt, hur kan jag? Vad ger det mig förutom att jag blir bara mer äcklad av att vara med dem. Och tänk er, det här är människor på 18-20 år. Trots det så finns det elever på skolan som är 2-3 år yngre. Fattar ni hur jobbigt det är? Och ändå tycker ni att jag är omogen. Vad fan är mogen för er då? Eller är det bara en enkel, tillgänglig bortförklaring när jag inte uppför mig så bra?
Oavsett kommer jag inte kunna jämföra mig med min pojkvän. Han är 8 år och 10 månader äldre än mig. Han har levt i ungefär 3000 dagar mer än vad jag har. Det är så otroligt mycket, så mycket erfarenhet, så mycket av allt. Hur ska man ta ikapp sådant? Spelar det någon roll? Om det funkar, så funkar det.
Jag ville bara få ur mig det. Igår var jag bara så arg på mina klasskamrater. Fattar inte hur olik man kan vara. Fattar inte.
Not until now (twenty past eight in the evening) I may rest.
First I woke up at five in the morning, took the dogs for a walk. Then I went to school and the drive takes approximately two hours. I was there for 7 hours or so, had three bothersome tests - two of them were oral.
After that I went back home, another two hours, had supper.
Later on I took other two dogs for a walk.
Thereafter I returned home, showered and now I am sitting here. Just…sitting and appreciating the liberty of doing nothing. Ah…
Pogo has always fascinated me with his songs. So…hypnotic, imaginative, relaxing and…odd. Below is a song he has made “Alice” which I love listening to and the video itself is adorable. I love the cat in the beginning at 18 seconds.
Another favourite by Pogo is Anna:
Darn TV-licence fee. - A bill for watching TV.
Firstly, they asked me why I haven’t paid the bill, if I have lost the bill or forgot it when I immediately told them that have no bill to pay, I have no TV. Then she said, “oh okay, thank you, bye”.
How evil. First tricking me into having a TV, or a bill for watching TV at least. She probably did that on purpose, expecting me to say “ohhh, haven’t I? Hm, then you should probably send me a new one!”
Hopefully they won’t bother to visit, fooling me that they are somebody else and look for a TV in the house. I’ll just not open the door in case I haven’t been dialled-up, letting me know I should prepare for visitors.
Jag orkar inte mer. Det har varit ett helvete det senaste halvåret och man har försökt att hålla skalet uppe men det går inte längre. Gråter varenda dag nu. Kan inte få sova när jag vill det och jag blir så jävla förbannad.
Jag har skapat så mycket skit men fan, jag lider ju för det och det har jag gjort den senaste månaden, senaste halvåret egentligen. Min aptit ligger i botten och jag kan börja gråta när som helst men håller inne det så gott det går. Hela jävla tiden och jag orkar inte mer!
Jag får skit för det jag gjort varje jävla fittdag och det slutar inte. Sen får jag skit för allt annat också. Som om jag vore ett jävla levande problem och jag tar skit från ALLA för det. Min familj, min före detta vän, min vän, min pojkvän.. Vart fan vänder man sig då?! Man kan inte gå någonstans utan att bli dömd för all skit som man gjort trots att man gjort så mycket för att gottgöra. Det spelar ju för fan ingen roll längre. Och när jag väl mår bra och tror att allt är bra vissa dagar så är det fanimej raka motsatsen. Varje jävla dag, varje jävla kväll får jag skit.
VAD FAN BEGÄR NI AV MIG!?
Jag orkar inte mer. Det är vid dessa stunder som jag bara vill gömma mig. Speciellt hos mamma som inte vet något, som inte dömer mig. Jag vill bara gå någonstans och aldrig komma tillbaka så jag kan börja om med allting och bara skita i allt annat för det kan jag för fan inte här. VARENDA jävla dag blir man påmind om hur värdelös man är och man försöker bara göra allting bättre men det räcker fan inte och hur oduglig känner man sig inte då!?
Jag är som en jävla papperskorg som aldrig blir tömd. Alla kastar sin skit på mig och jag får aldrig bli tömd för skiten kastas tillbaka. Jag är så jävla trött på det här. Fattar inte ens varför jag skriver detta. Jag vill bara att hela jävla världen ska dra åt helvete eller åtminstone låta mig vara. Fan ska jag med den till om jag inte förtjänar den enligt er och varför ska alla vara så jävla elaka hela tiden. När är det över för mig då!? NÄR!
Och om du läser detta Alexander, ja jag tänker fan skriva ditt namn nu för jag tänker fan inte dölja något. Jag är TRÖTT PÅ SKITEN, jag bad ingen att be dig att sluta, det sms:et har jag ABSOLUT inget att göra med så du kan fan dra åt helvete om du vågar döma mig för något jag inte gjort. Jag tog till och med bort polisanmälan. VAD FAN BEGÄR DU AV MIG. VAD FAN BEGÄR NI, ALLA AV MIG!??!?!
(Unfortunately I didn’t manage to snap a nice shot. My camera is lousy and all the photos I took were blurry.)
Had a nice time going out yesterday with Cristian, Gabriel (friend of Cristian), Isabell, who is really awesome and cute (Gabriel’s girlfriend) and lots of other people who are friends with Isabell. Too bad I was unable to stay very long since that was probably my second time I have been somewhat drunk. At least I could control myself this time.
We went to Kings’s head which was a cosy place with a scent of British fashion, they even had a bartender who merely spoke English
Anyway..my stomach is acting strange. I’m not hungry, though I need to eat. My cravings for sushi is making me go all the way to town and then I will buy some sushi and then go home again and then I will nomonom mo mo no monomonomnom…
For some odd reason I have chocolate cookies, Snickers ice cream, chocolate balls, Marabou Sensation - Cookies & Cream, After Eight at home. The last person I want here right now is Dr. Gillian McKeith.
Cambridge exam tomorrow Saturday from 9 o’clock to 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Wish me luck!
According to this link from Kotaku WoW has lost a total of 600,000 members. That is a total of 5 %! Frankly, I am not surprised. WoW was way better during Vanilla and Burning Crusade. Although, it would not surprise me if the game appeal to new players than former players. Is this the reason for the decrease? For I know no former player who can genuinely tell me that WoW still is entertaining, or is equally or nearly entertaining as it used to be.
Apparently Blizzard (or Activision Blizzard as they are called nowadays) are planning to make new expansions even faster than usual. Something tells me that if they continue the same way as they are doing now, the effect will turn out to be negative in the end.
Why are they simplifying the game day by day when the opposite should occur?
Stumbled upon a trip to and from Edinburgh for a week with a total amount of 432 SEK. And which day is the departure? -Two days before my graduation! All other tickets with the same destination cost 800-1600 SEK. I just, I just, just, never mind…
I think I know why I don’t feel comfortable listening to music without headphones.
Whenever me and my sisters would play metal songs or generally dark and loud music, my mother would panic and try to break the CD’s. Therefore, I am unable to play songs by Emilie Autumn, unless the songs are from her peaceful album, Enchant. I have a theory for this being the reason why I do not enjoy hearing music from other technical devices than through headphones.
Any way, I love these songs from System of A Down. And the voice of Daron Malakian - incredible.
…I don’t think you trust, in, my,
Self-righteous suicide,
I, cry, when angels deserve to die…
