Grey's Domain

Elinor…

Elinor, I met Lucy when I was very young. Had I had an active profession, I should never have felt such an idle and foolish inclination.

My behaviour at Norland was very wrong, but I convinced myself  that you felt only friendship for me and that it was my heart alone that I was risking. 

I’ve come here with no expectations only to profess, now that I am liberty to do so, that my heart is…and always will be…yours.

Link to a clip on this particular scene. 

If there is anything I miss from when I lived with mother it is the sound of her waking up in the morning, merely a few minutes before I do, brewing tea and the sound of the teapots clinging.

Every elsewhere, I am the first to wake up.

Money is power, but you don’t have power just because you have money. Instead, the money has power over you.

“My dear Anton,

Are you well? I recieved your letter. Though I’d like nothing more than to see you again, I’m afraid I no longer have the strength to do so. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about you over the years. I often wonder if you hate me for what I did. Do you?

When I decided to leave, I was carrying our child. I couldn’t bear exposing that tiny life to such danger. I knew your father’s position, and understood you didn’t have the option to leave with me. Even though I did the only thing I could, I’ll always regret leaving you that way.

But there’s one bright spot in this sad story, and that is our lovely granddaughter Katia. My departure all those years ago has given you the chance to meet. Katia’s mother died shortly after she was born, but Katia grew up strong and sweet just the same. She reminds me of you every time she smiles. With her around, I could never forget about you, even if I wanted to. 

You’ve been in my thoughts since the day we parted. And now, though my time here is drawing to a close, I like to think we’ll meet again on the other side. The thought of seeing your face warms my heart. Be well and be happy, my dear Anton.

Goodbye, but just for now.

Your Sophia.”

 

I woke up at 4 and went to bed 20 hours later. At 7 am I was with my class in school, at 10 am we got our diplomas, at 12 pm we ran through the front doors of school and we were officially graduated students. I bid adieu to my fellow students of European Language Studies ´08. After that my big brother Khalid and my little sister Sima met me, they took me out for some dinner and talked a little. After that we went home to mother’s house. She wasn’t present. They excused themselves several times for not having time to buy me any gifts. Then they sat on my former bed when I did live with my mum, Khalid brought a bag from ICA city, which is a grocery store in Sweden. I thought there was a cake inside, but no, it was something much more…expensive. It was a Macbook Pro. I gasped, had no words but thank you and I said it 100 times. I can’t believe he bought it for me! “You deserve it”, he said. The computer is currently charging. I also received a silver bracelet from his girlfriend, which is really cute since I haven’t met her.

After that he drove me home, to Gothenburg, unfortunately he and Vivi (gf) hadn’t time to stay, at least he knows where I live. At the same time he left, my boyfriend came home from work with flowers and roses in his hands and a bottle of wine, red of course and a bottle of Dooley’s, yum yum. ^^ We went out for dinner at two places since the first place we went to offer such small amount of food that we were still hungry. We returned home at midnight. I must’ve fallen asleep immediately since I can’t remember that I ever did go to bed.

Anyway, the day was great and…I can finally say, I DID IT!

Btw, I received a note from my teacher, my favourite teacher Catrin. I ALMOST cried when I had to say goodbye to her, but I held it in. The note said:

Have a heart that never hardens,
A temper that never tires,
A touch that never hurts.
-Charles Dickens.

Tomorrow is my graduation. I’ve waited for that day for 12 years now, though my lack of motivation makes me feel as if it is any other day. I hope it’ll pass.

What’s wrong with the dashboard on tumblr? Am I the only one seeing it? Because it looks terrible and I do not believe that there’s anything wrong with the computer nor the web browser.

I still have trouble deciding whether I should become a lolita or not. My biggest issue is that it costs a fortune, and what if I feel  like quitting right after buying my first or second dress? Then I have wasted money for nothing. Surely they are pretty, but owning one dress, to me, is not enough. And let’s say I buy one dress, just to feel what it is like, and I regret it later and don’t even want to wear the dress again. Then at least $200 would go to waste (you need petticoat, socks etcetera too). I could have bought something else with those money, a bicycle or food for a month! Gah, I just can’t buy anything until I am 100 % sure. I know what happens if I do. I will regret it the day after and hate myself.

Sometimes I find a dress and it’s so incredibly gorgeous (my favourite dresses are Classic and Gothic Lolita) I’d day to have it - those

moments are the reason for why I even want to become a lolita. Though, there are times when I see other dresses (mostly worn by someone) and I feel as if it is no where near what I have in mind when it comes to wearing lolita clothes. Ah, choices… 

I am moving towards the end of Professor Layton’s Pandora’s Box. The journey has been incredible and I have yet to discovered the final mysterious pieces - which I am planning to do right now with of course a cup of tea.

Speaking of games… I have finally reached the goal of achieving 20 (reached 24) waves of zombie ferocity during survival endless on Plants vs. Zombies. I remember the first time I tried acquiring that achievement (I played PvZ years ago too), I never managed to do it. But this time, it took me one round only.

           

I absolutely adore cameos. They are incredibly beautiful.

The crossed ones I already have.

The higher they are written, the more I want them.

1. Money!
2. Nintendo DS som kan spela alla DS-spel (senare än 3DS) och alla Professor Layton-spelen.  I have a 3DS now ^^
3. Bicycle 
4. A computer which you can play MMORPG games on.
5. A system camera.
6. Professor Layton and The Lost Future.
7. Professor Layton and The Eternal Diva.
8. Professor Layton and The Mask of Miracle.
9. This coat in XS.
10. A naked cat like this one.
11. Japanese things such as…
    
    • This
    • This
    • This
    • This
    • This
12. Emilie Autumn’s book.
13. Pantihose, lolita-socks
14. These shoes.
15. Paulo Coelhos kalender “Visdom”.
16. Nya hörlurar som funkar till de flesta plugins. (Ska ha till iPod nano. Oftast sådana små som man kan stoppa in i örat (länk))
17. These sets: 1 och 2.
18. Platta, svarta skor som passar till allt. (Har typ bara klackar.)
19. This tea.
    
20. Cute thermos with Victorian or Kawaii-theme.
    
21. This pocket-mirror
22. A book with loads of Sudoku.
23. MuffinsPLÅTAR (helst så att man kan få i 12 st muffins. En plåt med mindre hål än 12 går också bra. Eller flera!)
24. This red bracelet.
25. A rubiks kub.
    

Things I do NOT want:

1. Clothes - I have a very different and peculiar sense of style so don’t buy me clothes. Otherwise give me a presentcard in Shock, Missäy, etcetera
2. Bags - I LOVE bags, though same goes here. I am very picky and rather choose my own purses.

Today there was an event taking place on Andra Långgatan in Gothenburg. It sucked.

What type of event is it? They play music, sell stuff, perform etcetera. And what happened? Ghastly music playing everywhere so there was a combination of horrible noises.

Disrespectful people everywhere! Nobody cared for anyone and during the first hour the ground was filled with rubbish. Plus, there was no way to get through!

And what was up for sale? Worn-out clothes, sausage and expensive totes. The entire neighbourhood was filled with people trying to get drunk. I was terribly disappointed and I cannot understand how this particular event has become so great.

I started the day by trying to get to Café Castellet close to Linné. When I got there it was closed. No sign, no message, nothing whatsoever to inform the customers why it was closed. I was exhausted since it took me half an hour to find the café and I was hungry! So what was I suppose to do?

Me and my boyfriend continued our long stroll along the streets of Linné trying to find another diner who served a breakfast buffet. We found none. We went as far as Kungsportsplatsen and decided to eat at Sun Wall. To my surprise the buffet costs 90 SEK, lasted until 17:00 and we were there first since we happened to be there at noon sharp. And…they served tea! Ah, salvation, thank thee Sun Wall. All though I was looking forward to those scones at Castellet, 12 dishes, tea and sushi (!) at Sun Wall made it worth the trouble finding something to eat.

I was sitting on the tram, with a cat by my side when police cars and an ambulance drives by quickly. On the next stop I see where they were heading: to the brigde, Göta älvbron, in Gothenburg. A man was trying to commit suicide. He was prepared to jump if they got closer.

I had tears in my eyes, though I did not cry. I was holding it back.

It made me think of what could have made him so miserable enough to want to end his life. Who could have caused his pain and why? Ugh, it was awful.